Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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