Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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