just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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