I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
