But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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