There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
