he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
