Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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