I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
