I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
