Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
