What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
