Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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