I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
