Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
