we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
