This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
