apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
