I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
