Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
