If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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