i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
