But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
