apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
the liver wants what the liver wants
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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