Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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