My liver just broke up with me...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
