Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
