The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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