this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
