So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
