We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
