I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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