i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
