I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize