not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
