dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
