i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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