I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
