and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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