Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
