So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it hurts more in the daytime
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
