Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
