We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
