Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
