sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
