you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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