If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
