He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
