I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
