Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
