i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
