dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
