with your own penis?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Randomize
