i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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