I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
