is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
