just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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