I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
