You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
