you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
