Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
