Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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