Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize