lets start a swedish sibling band together
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
