I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
