well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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