i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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