You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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