i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
