Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
