ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i now understand why vodka
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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