wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
