This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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